The first 11 years of my life were spent being raised in the 60’s in a home where both my parents were present. It was like most families I imagine, somewhere between the fantasy of the Brady Bunch and reality of Roseanne. We were always fed, sheltered and clothed. Life was okay.

As I’ve gotten older, and especially during these last few years, I’ve practiced observing my thoughts and beliefs, especially those held over from childhood; deciding what I will continue to embrace and what no longer serves me.

As I look back, it is apparent that my mom had body image confidence issues, which I fully inherited. ‘Your dad thinks all women should be slender’ I remember her saying. Did he really think that? Or was that just her perspective?

About 5th grade, I became a pudgy. There were comments made, all in my own best interests no doubt (yep, that was sarcasm) about wearing a girdle (they were popular at the time…can you imagine?), how if I had my personality and my sister’s body I’d be a real knockout, or when I was in the early years of high school, my mother saying ‘I made a doctor’s appointment for you to see the doctor about weight loss.’ (BTW Doc, those little pills worked and nowadays they’re called Speed.)

I do believe, or maybe myth-believe (did I invent a new word?), that all those episodes came from their love for me, wanting me to be happy. And, apparently, that wouldn’t be possible if I was overweight. It left a wound which I’ve addressed time after time in my life, but it never fully healed. This morning, I became the Healer.

10.24.24

Me]        Would the spiritual guides who specialize in human form please devise the best plan for me to maintain excellent health and fitness? Let me know how to best participate. Thank you.

[Soul]    If it feels good do it

[Me]       Good morning Innate. [Innate is our body’s 2nd brain, the one that automatically keeps our heart pumping, lungs breathing and our systems balanced, without our input]. I have heard that I should give you instructions regarding my health and fitness. Is that true?

[Soul/Innate]     Does that feel true? You decide what is true for you

[Me]       Perhaps I have not given you or my body the respect and reverence you deserved over the years

[Soul/Innate]     I am you; we are us, we are all one

[Me]       Maybe I didn’t do something correctly

[Soul]    We are co-creators

[Me]       Yes, I see that more clearly now, that feels more appropriate

[Soul]    Your job as a human is to learn what you need to learn, what you came here [earth] for. To remember all of us, all parts of us. We are co-creators. We love what we do, we love working in tandem with you to maintain a beautiful human body. It is a miracle, no? Magic!

[Me]       Yes. A mysterious miracle. Doctors and scientists are still trying to figure out the human body. Will they ever?

[Soul]    There will be no need at some point

[Me]       Co-creation together feels right. That makes me smile. Not me ‘giving orders’ but instead, we are figuring it out together. Participating in making decisions together. The ‘I am’ statements. I am beautiful, I am fit, I am healthy, and so on

[Soul]    Yes! Reflect those thoughts back to yourself like a mirror.

[Me]       I heard that recently but don’t remember where. I find joy in the thought that we play together, plan, giggle, like children.

[Soul]    It should be fun! Not hard or disappointing or angry or unsatisfied or shameful or guilty or anything else that is a low vibration. Just fun, joyful. It is all so temporary after all

[Me]       I didn’t understand that before, about my body

[Soul]    You’re so serious sometimes – those human thoughts. You were programmed that way, taught that way

[Me]       Perhaps, taught that who I was, didn’t meet someone else’s expectations? It didn’t satisfy them.

[Soul]    They were doing what they knew, what they thought was best for you. Cajoling, commenting, diet pills. They didn’t know anything different. Forgive them and move forward

[Me]       Yes. Forgive and move forward. Easier said than done

[Soul}    Yes! But you must. You have for too long, held onto this low vibration that doesn’t serve you. Let that shit go

[Me]       I love my beautiful healthy, intelligent body. I appreciate the journey my body has gone through to get me to this place. I have shamed myself, not liked parts of myself, not loved my own body that has supported me all these years. I need to let all that crap go because it no longer serves me.

Well, it must have served me in some way, in the past, right? If everything happens ‘for’ me, not ‘to’ me. I must have struggled with this body image thing for most of my life because I really needed to overcome it. To learn to love me, the human and appreciate all parts of who I am.

[Soul]    Yes! Practice loving the unique beautiful you. Practice and preach. Practice what you preach to others, to love oneself completely.

[Me]       Okay, I see the dichotomy there, the incongruency, the misalignment I’ve been living under, believing really, what was projected on me. That I wasn’t good enough somehow, or slim enough or whatever, to meet someone else’s opinion. I feel like I’ve been played, and that kind of pisses me off!

I didn’t embrace my own individual and unique human shape with confidence. I believed the opinions of who others thought I should be. I don’t want any of these low vibration feelings around me anymore. Especially in any thoughts of my own.

Can I appreciate these former thoughts for the lesson they helped me learn and send them away to be transformed into Love?

[Soul]    You can do that

[Me]       I don’t know if I can

[Soul]    You already are. Love them, appreciate them, set them free. That is forgiveness, that is forgiveness

[Me]       Ahhh…okay…deep breath…exhale. Dear thoughts and beliefs that I have had during this human lifetime or any other, that no longer serve me…thank you for serving me up until now, thank you for participating with me, co-creating with me to learn to love all parts of myself. I appreciate the role you played in my life.

Now, I have decided that you no longer serve me, and it is time for you to go. Your role is complete, your time is over, rest in peace, goodbye!

[Soul]    How does that feel?

[Me]       Good, it feels good, compassionate but firm, appreciative and final. An ending and a new beginning. Easier, lighter, a relief. No more spending any time with it, re-creating it. Oh man…shit…I’ve been creating it myself!?!

[Soul]    Yes! You’ve got it! Oh no, no, no, no, no, do not let that low vibration feeling develop, that shame, blame, guilt, human emotional trap that you do so well. Raise your vibration immediately.

[Me]       Mini ponies, with their round little bellies, short legs and long manes. I can always raise my vibration by thinking of mini ponies. They’re just so damned cute!

What I see in my mind next blows me away. A new me peeks out from behind the old me that I’ve always believed myself to be. The old me is dissolving into the ground. The new me smiles, she is so excited to be here, to be free. It’s a celebration. We are happy and jumping for joy. We are congruent, authentic and at the end of a long learning journey. We have finally arrived at the same place together. Yes, we are laughing and dancing on Victory Lane.

Wow! This morning has been powerful! We’re awesome

[Soul]    Yes, we are. Often, humans forget how powerful they are, how much potential they have, how many possibilities they have to choose from

[Me]       Thank you

[Soul]    Thank us. We are very welcome