When asked over the years as to what kind of book I would most like to write, the answer has inevitably been Things I Want My Grandchildren To Understand. Concepts, that I believe, when embraced and practiced, could enrich their lives beyond their imagination, as they have enriched mine. I want their life on this planet to be the most extraordinary life possible.
Among these approaches to life, the stand-out for me, the concept that dramatically changed the way I travel on my journey, is that we create our life with our thoughts. I create my life with my thoughts, and you create your life with your thoughts.
Thousands of teachers, perhaps even millions, from all walks of life, have attempted to instill this knowledge in us over centuries. The unique voices of individuals across time, like Plato, Marcus Aurelius, Jesus, Lao Tzu, Abraham Lincoln, Dale Carnegie, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, and even Oprah Winfrey, espouse the same message, that we create our lives with our thoughts.
How? By practicing using the power of our own mind.
[And before you might dismiss this as ‘woo-woo’ thinking, or a new-age spiritual practice 😉 check out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is the most researched form of psychotherapy, backed by observed/experienced behavior that aids people in identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.]
Many of you right now might be saying “I call bullshit! There’s no way I would’ve created the sad, bad, painful, tragic events that have happened in my life!” Believe me, I get it. I wouldn’t create those things in my life either, certainly not intentionally. But what I’ve come to understand is that while I don’t have control over the random events of life, the actions of others, or for that matter the weather, I do have control over what I believe about them and how I react to them. And therein lies the ‘magic’ space where I find peace and joy.
I practice conscious thinking about my thoughts. I examine them, question them, decide whether they are true for me or not. This has helped me to trust my gut, my subconscious mind about many ordinary everyday events like not touching a hot stove or instinctively stepping over a puddle so my shoes don’t get wet, or even if assuming that the words and actions of others have anything to do with me at all (99 times out of 100, they don’t, therefore I have no reaction to them.)
It took practice to question my thoughts and feelings, but it was so worth the effort. When you consciously examine ‘why’ you think the way you think about a subject, circumstance, or event, you will find that many of your beliefs were instilled in you by others. Well-meaning others like family members, religious leaders, friends, schoolteachers, and others I refer to in Blog #6 as Impressionists. So, are you carrying around your own beliefs or the beliefs and opinions of others? Which is perfectly fine if you happen to agree with the others, but how will you know whether something is truly your belief, unless you examine your own thoughts and come to your own conclusions?
Some might not practice examining their thoughts because it hasn’t occurred to them to do so or, they don’t believe in it, or understand the benefits of it. Living in a fast paced world, where we can feel that we don’t possess the mental bandwidth to process one…more…damn…thing, could be a reason. Or maybe as Helen Keller once said: “People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.”
But I’ve come to believe in what Mildred Lisette Norman (aka Peace Pilgrim) said “If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” Which is not to say that I don’t ever have negative thoughts, but I have learned to rise above them, to raise my frequency. (Which is a whole other conversation for another day 😊.)
Now a days, I tend to examine a thought when I have an immediate strong, almost visceral reaction to it. I know that each time I do so, I expand and grow in understanding myself and there are some great benefits that I never expected. For example, last year I was asked by a woman in my yoga class if I would like to start a book club with her, wherein we would read a self-development book aloud together, and spontaneously do the writing exercises and discuss them. My immediate response to her was ‘No thanks, I don’t think so.’ In my head I was screaming “Oh no, holy shit, I don’t think so, no way lady, don’t like group work, unsafe, uncomfortable, warning Will Robinson, this not for me!?!”
Then I consciously stopped the emotional roller coaster and asked ‘why.’ Why did I have such a strong reaction to her question? It made me uncomfortable, people might judge me, thoughts of bad group work projects from college came to mind, sharing might be uncomfortable. But…hang on a second… those things aren’t always true because I have spoken to groups with hundreds of people in the past and found it exciting and invigorating. I enjoyed the sharing, and was complemented on my speaking, so maybe I might enjoy this also. Immediately I changed my answer to ‘Yes. Do you have a book in mind?’ That decision has resulted in three of the deepest, most meaningful friendships of my adult life. Had I not taken a few seconds to examine my thoughts and reaction, I would have missed sharing time with some incredibly special gals.
I am at a place in my life where I understand that I create my own world, my own reactions, my own peace, and joy, while the rest of life happens around me. I am the chooser, the decider of who I am and all that entails. I’ve been accused of looking at life through rose colored glasses and to that I reply…just call me Rosy!
Till next time, peace and joy
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